Fact Fiction
by ThereAreNoLines
Summary: But, for once, logic hadn't worked in her favor.  Spencer/Aria, Ezria mentioned.


Fact-Fiction (Spencer/Aria)

This was the second time Aria had worn feathers in her hair this week, making a total of nine times since the month began – not that Spencer was counting. They were pink, like the erstwhile streaks in her hair, something Spencer, while having publicly denounced – after all, who would take her seriously? – but had always secretly admired.

That was the thing about Spencer – she was a Hastings, and a certain number of things were automatically include in the name. Perfection being most obvious, but aversion to fear – courage – was there was well. And that was where she felt like an imposter. She could spout off and grandstand and pretend with the best of them, but when it came down to it…Spencer was a coward. Shaking in her designer boots whenever anything scared or surprised her.

Was Aria one of those things? She didn't know the answer. She certainly wasn't afraid of her best friend. The mere notion of that was ridiculous to her. But…there was something about her…or maybe even herself that scared Spencer, because whenever she saw Aria, her impulse was to duck behind something and watch from a distance…just watch.

Fear was something Spencer had become used to, especially in recent months, but this was a different kind of fear, maybe even not fear at all, but something else. Whatever it was, it stole her voice when Aria spoke, stole her breath when Aria turned her big, dark eyes in her direction, and nearly stole her composure when Aria, God forbid, touched her.

Aria, on the other hand, never seemed to be afraid of anything. Perhaps that was what drew her to the smaller girl – her outright bravery. While Spencer hid behind her name and her intelligence, Aria was never afraid to defend what she believed in or go after what – and who – she wanted.

This was the most petrifying thing of all. Because Aria had never gone after her. And, because she was Spencer, and couldn't resist putting the pieces together, she knew exactly what this meant. It was a matter of logic, really.

But, for once, logic hadn't worked in her favor.

Spencer drew her coffee cup close to her chest, taking a deep breath as she gazed after Aria in the coffee line, watching as her face lit up in time with the screen of her phone. A nauseating wave of…something slid through her, making her stomach turn unpleasantly as she watched her from behind the brick pillar. She could call it jealousy, that was the most accurate word, but…Spencer didn't want to admit to that. This was Aria. Her best friend. And she was happy, as happy as any of them could be. It was terrible of her to wish or want otherwise.

"Spence!" Spencer felt all the color drain out of her face, and she almost stepped back behind the pillar, but she didn't because that would look stupid, now that Aria had spotted her. Her fear of her finding out her secret was greater than her fear, or whatever, of Aria herself, so she stayed put with a plastered on smile.

"I didn't see you there." Spencer said, taking a sip from her coffee, trying to keep from trembling. She hesitated. "Talking to Ezra?"

Aria shrugged, smiling a little. "Yeah, he had a free minute before class." She sighed, the sound content, only making Spencer feel sicker.

The taller girl bit her lower lip, eyes trained on the pavement as they walked. "…do you ever regret it?" She finally asked, glancing over at Aria.

"Regret what?" Aria replied, one eyebrow raised.

"You know…going after Ezra?" Spencer asked, swallowing, her mouth dry.

"Oh!" Aria said, smiling a little, looking down. "Not at all. Not one bit. He's…" She trailed off, her smile getting a little bigger, but still soft…secret. The smile Spencer had seen reserved only for Ezra, and for systematically and slowly breaking her heart.

Spencer gripped the strap of her bag to hide the fact that her hands were shaking. "Even with the risk? With…all of the risks? I mean…what if he didn't go for you?" This question seemed necessary…after all, Ezra and Aria was a romance that was only marginally more probable than herself and Aria…she needed to know what made Aria so brave, so strong. Perhaps she'd be able to learn from her and endure.

A one sided shrug from Aria. "I just had to know…you know? I couldn't let it go, it was…it would have driven me crazy not to know what he was thinking. It was scary the first few weeks…really scary. Not really knowing what was happening, what was going to happen to us. But…it worked out. And it never would have if I hadn't taken the chance. And I guess the possibility of it working out was…it outweighed how bad I would have felt if he hadn't gone for it…for me."

Spencer looked around, her heart pounding so hard, she could hear the rush of blood in her ears. From fear, maybe, but what Aria said had made so much sense, it made her feel ill. Mostly because she knew what she had to do. She bit her lower lip, looking away from Aria, her head spinning slightly. They were alone, at the end of a deserted hallway. The air she breathed in dissipated as soon as it hit her lungs, she felt like she was choking. She put her hand on a locker to steady herself. God, Aria was so beautiful…

"Spencer?" She heard her voice through everything, through the chaos. God, she was probably crazy. There was a buzzing in her hears, a clanging, like of bells, in her head, and above all that, she could hear Aria. "Spence? Are you okay." A cool hand on her arm, and the noise got louder, and her head hurt, and her stomach turned, and she couldn't breathe, and she just wanted everything to –

Her lips met Aria's, somehow, in the chaos.

– stop.

Suddenly, she could breathe again, and all was silent, except for the far off murmurs of their peers outside, out of sight, and the soft, tiny breaths, like sips, that Aria was taking. It was gentle, and soft, and it wasn't more than a minute, but it was almost perfect.

Almost.

Spencer was actually the one who broke the kiss, but Aria pulled back, her dark eyes wide in that way they got when she had consumed too much coffee, or when she was shocked – and why wouldn't she be? God, that was such a bad idea…

Spencer could hear Aria calling after her as she ran, but she didn't stop, she couldn't face her, not after that. The fear had crept up within her again, encompassing the bit of courage – or temporary insanity – that had come over her. And, after a brief, shining moment, she was just Spencer again. Weak and powerless. Nothing but a coward hiding beneath a façade.

Except there was no façade anymore. She was stripped down, raw, exposed, in front of Aria. There was nothing to protect her now, nothing to keep her safe or hide her secrets. She was just Spencer. This was a fact.

And now it was clear Aria would never be more than fiction for her.


End file.
